Welcome Fellow Readers,
Where have I been you ask? Well 2020 was the worst year of my life and even before that it started all the way back in November 2019 my anxiet and depressionreally started to ramp up really bad and their was about three or four times during 2020 that I wanted to end my life because I felt worthles and definitely lost and that the whole world was crashing down on me all at once.
Even though as hard as last year was I did have one bright spot that kept me going on and not wanting to end my life my sister finally gave birth to my niece in September of 2020 so I want to be around for my niece and I also I want to change my lifestyle so I can be around her for a long time so she can have her uncle.
Actually I guess there is another bright spot I should mention is all the people that I have met while streaming on Twitch and have become good friends with that means a lot to me and of much appreciated more than they will ever know.
We usually make a goal post on my blog that every year but I feel like for this year I'm not going to do that I'm just going to take every day by day at a slow pace and see what each day brings me since every day will have a different challenge but I will keep goals in my head.
I also say this a lot but I am going to try to blog more and more and put my feelings out there when I want to talk about it and I just hold it in until I explode like I have basically for the last year to a year and a half because I feel like it would be good therapy for me and if most people know I have a hard time talking about emotions straight up to people and I feel better when I write it down so I figure this blog can be my outlet to speak on how I'm feeling and to talk about my mental health.
I know I have not been the best blogger but that's going to change for 2021 as far as I know but as for other goals I'm going to keep them to myself.
I want to thank everyone for being in my life and helping me get along to help me get through a rough year and here's to a better year and working on myself to get better I do love you all and you guys are always in my prayers and I thank everybody for taking the time to read this blog I'm sorry it has been so long since I have wrote One as I wanted to write this a long time ago I just did not have the courage to write it but I am glad I Found the courage to write it now
Thanks,
-Joseph
